Lookin for Love in all the Wrong Places

Insecure, needy, defensive, paranoid, obsessive compulsive, recently separated from LTR, woman, seemingly skilled in the art of blackening and poisoning everything she touches......interested in finding a male that will accept her for what she is BUT will not put up with it!!!!

Fantasies.......

have to be unrealistic because the moment you get what you seek, you don’t, you can’t, want it anymore. In order to continue to exist, desire must have its objects perpetually absent. It’s not the it that you want, it is the fantasy of it.

Jacques Lacan

Beauty

I wrote beauty
when you were in my life
inspired by the softness I felt inside
you were my fluid muse
my silent sanctuary

I felt beauty
when you were in my life
my blood boiled with warmth
body hugged by a blanket
of turbulent calm

I was beauty
when you were in my life
invaded as I was
by all parts of you......
once upon a time

No Shortage of Oddities

I was reading on CM about a man who wants to train women to be used as toilets. He says he will "break" them, then train them to be full-service (skat) toilets on command. He doesn't want a girlfriend or a wife, he wants no-limit slaves and garbage disposals. For some reason I would really like to meet this individual; find out what motivates him, what horrible events he had to endure as a child that may have brought him to this depraved place. I mean, what kind of a person "is" this anyway? His profile is well written and articulate; he obviously has a brain. I am bizarrely curious.

Let's not even mention the females who are going to respond favorably to this wonderful offer.

*sigh*

It is all rather sad.

The oddities and complexities of life never cease to amaze me.

If I Never Pass This Way Again

If I never pass this way again,
where memories are ripe and true,
my heart entwined with all that's past,
my vision clear and sharp, of you,
who held me in your fold so long,
with tenderness and calming song,
safe under your watchful eye,
you hugged me as you made me cry;
my spectrum of emotions fell,
within your grasp I knew so well,
and if, by chance, our end is near,
for you, My Love, is ever dear.

I See You

I don't write words here with the aim to receive any kind of reward. My words are personal and hold meaning to "me"; I can only hope that those that pass by my page leave it with something that holds meaning to "them". While there are many that visit without leaving a trail, there are a few dear souls who leave comments or send email. To discover that a a few thoughts from my mind can link me, soulfully, with kindred spirits around the world, fills my heart with a light that is hard to describe. I have been traveling along this road for several months now and it is those of you I am able to touch in some small way, that touch "me" in a very very large way.

I thank you all. Those that pass silently and those that leave a trace.

We are connected. I see you.

Reveal me

If I remain trapped inside, I will succumb to the decay of a thousand poison thoughts.

Reveal me...before the erosion becomes irreversible.