Body and Soul

BODY AND SOUL

A man and a woman sat by a window that opened upon Spring. They sat close one unto the other. And the woman said, "I love you. You are handsome, and you are rich, and you are always well-attired."
And the man said, "I love you. You are a beautiful thought, a thing too apart to hold in the hand, and a song in my dreaming."
But the woman turned from him in anger, and she said, "Sir, please leave me now. I am not a thought, and I am not a thing that passes in your dreams. I am a woman. I would have you desire me, a wife, and the mother of unborn children."
And they parted.
And the man was saying in his heart, "Behold another dream is even now turned into mist."
And the woman was saying, "Well, what of a man who turns me into a mist and a dream?"

From:
The Wanderer
Kahlil Gibran

My Best Intentions

Live with Integrity
I will not lose sight of my principles and values and will allow them to guide me

Feel
I will experience, fully, every little sensation that finds me

Touch
I will touch others with compassion, love, and a feeling of connection

Listen
I will give people my full attention so they will never doubt they are being heard

Speak
I will pause and contemplate before giving an answer or speaking my mind

Eat
I will eat food that strengthens and sustains my body toward a healthy state of being

Grow
I will strive to learn new things everyday and never stop challenging myself

Accept
I will accept people and situations without judgment or expectation

Nasty Girl

I'm a nasty girl, with nasty thoughts
but I keep them in a vault
cause it's disturbing to me
when, on occasion, I'm prompted to let them out...

I'm a nasty girl, with nasty thoughts
and I can't say I"m proud of what's in my head
Since a young girl, I've carried this weight
and held my emotions with dread...

I'm a nasty girl, with nasty thoughts
in constant battle with the darkness within
and as hard as I hope, and as hard as I pray
I can't make the darkness go far away...


Photo, Max Sauco

Pearls of Wisdom

In conversation with a friend today, I was reminded (by him) that I am currently in a most enviable position; that I will (likely) never again reside within this golden environment of opportunity and freedom, without attachment and responsibility; able to live or work anywhere I choose, or to "do" anything I choose. He told me to embrace it and run with it....to really live inside this wonderful space of privilege.

I had never thought of my new-found singledom in those terms before. His words empowered me and helped me to view my situation in a different light. I suppose that I have been busy fretting over my future, to the exclusion of actually recognizing my present situation with clarity.

The world is my oyster and I'm 100% free to seek the pearl.

How special is that?

Time to Cleanse

I am spending some time on Vancouver Island to feel the wind in my hair and let it cleanse my spirit and soul.......I plan to meditate and walk labyrinths and try to center my fractured being.

I will be gone for 4 weeks and within those 4 weeks I will come to some sort of conclusion about what direction my new life should take.

Questions

Stop asking me if I want this
Stop asking me if I like that
If you want to give it, I'll take it
If you like it, I'll try it
But...
if you ask me,
endlessly...
what I want,
what I like,
what I am thinking...
I'll say...
I don't know,
I'll say...
nothing,
because the truth is that...
I don't really know if I like it,
or if I want to try it,
or even, what I am thinking about it...
because you see,
this is all new to me,
and so...
I need you to be assertive;
aggressive,
take it like you own it
make it like you own it;
if it complains,
tell it to shut the fuck up
and just do it.
(but make sure it knows the safe word first)

What? Where?

is he/she...?
This elusive partner that most of us have dreamed of,
is he to remain an illusion, a fantasy....
We search, endlessly, for the "right one";
I hear people cry and mourn over their futile attempts to procure...
the "perfect" partner.

Are our expectations too high?
Do we pine for someone that does not/can not exist?
If this is so....our search will last until our death;
we will take our desires, our needs, with us to the grave.

...and that is sad.

We should not settle for less than we deserve but...somewhere along the line, our expectations have to line up with reality....what we think we need/want, and what we can realistically expect/live with, will have to learn to happily co-exist with each other.

Life is imperfect.
"We" are imperfect.
It's time we, not only think we know this, but seriously embrace this fact.
It is our only hope for any sort of happiness and contentment.

Not perfection,
but perhaps peace,
perhaps contentment,
perhaps managing to get the bulk of our needs met,
perhaps being allowed to go elsewhere to receive the rest of them...
We can sculpt our lives,
we do not/should not depend on one person to meet all of our needs;
this is impossible and places a tremendous burden on the relationship.
My husband expected me to be his everything...it was very stressful.

In my new life, I vow to lower my expectations and to realize/accept that people (including myself) are imperfect.

I vow to allow myself, to be happy.