Once again I feel like an observer of my life, never really a part of anything; isolated from my surroundings...an alien on earth. People talk and I listen but I feel no real connection with them. Perhaps I am an alien, sent from another place....but to do what? For what purpose is my body on this planet full of people I have such a hard time relating to?
I wrote many words such as this when I was a teenager trying to cope with feeling exactly the same way that I do now.
What the hell is wrong with me.....when will I grow up?
I, too, have felt this, since I was a young girl in grade school. I wonder if it is the submissive that feels this, or that we, as highly intelligent women, have difficulty relating to the general public.
ReplyDeleteMy father often told me that I didn't have many friends because I was so "different" from others due to my intellect and quick wit.
and, I've been told that I continually blame myself for not fitting in, or poor communication, when it is, in truth, that those who surround me simply cannot keep up.
perhaps, this, too, is you?
I know exactly how you feel. I can stand in a room full of people who I've known for years and realize how little we really have in common and how little they really know about me. Often I feel very alone in a great big world. So take my hand and we can walk along together gathering the other aliens along the way and maybe then we will realize we aren't really alone, and the people we relate to best may be scattered but they are out there.
ReplyDeletethe girl who fell to earth
ReplyDeleteOh i can relate to your feelings very, very much. Sometimes i isolate myself from the world by drawing, painting, dreaming... That's when i'm all quiet, silent. And then i can face the world again and wonder about it and where do i belong?
ReplyDeleteBig hug for you!
I am always reluctant and careful not to share too much of myself here. On occasion however, the strength and depth of my emotions has been too much for me and I have felt the need to put the words down here. I think we all need to feel "connected"; not alone in the world; that there is someone out there who understands our feelings of isolation and despair.
ReplyDeletecutesy pah....I think that there might be some truth to the idea that...women who identify as submissive tend to feel somewhat different and isolated due to their overwhelming feelings of submissive need and the necessity to hide these feelings from a society that condemns such thoughts as being backward and counterproductive to the "advancement" of women. Obviously this is a generalization and does not fit all cases, but I believe there is merit to this idea. Thank you for sharing yourself here; I very much appreciate your insight and support.
masters slave....your words brought an immediate stream of tears, dear H. I have taken your hand and look forward to meeting others, such as ourselves, with you. HUG
mo....it is nice to see you, lovely woman. I suspected that you would understand my words.....smile.
I want to add something here. I stated above that we all need to feel "connected" and that it may be possible that submissive women suffer from feelings of isolation and disconnection due to their opinons and needs that differ from the mainstream. I have spoken with Dominant men who have these feelings of isolation and disconnection as well. In fact, it may be more difficult in many respects for men. They have been raised to treat women with kid gloves, as though their minds and bodies were made of glass. Breaking out of a role that has been prescribed for you is not an easy thing to do.
ReplyDeleteAny segment of society whose beliefs and practices differ from the "norm" will always be subject to peripheralization. It is sad, but true, and so, we are.........Dominant/submissive/Master/slave, practioners of BDSM.......men and women. Walkers on the edge, strollers in the dark.
Hi Nancy,
ReplyDeleteIt is nice, and necessary, for us to know we are not alone in our thoughts...I am glad my words were there to help you feel that connection.