I feel as though I am always on the edge of some precipice, looking down; trying not to fall off before I decide whether I need to leap, jump, or simply let go....
Tick tick tock,
sound of the rabbit's pocket watch
and him mumbling something I can't quite catch
late, late, late, date, date, date.
Chase ensues
and down we go.
He is gone
and I am free,
my past falling away,
mirages melting into moments,
moments melting into me,
falling, falling, falling.
II: Descent
When I tell the story later
I will point out
that the terror wasn't the falling,
the euphoria growing
with each downward spiral.
It was the thought of landing
that filled my heart with fear.
My hands reaching
for the walls of the cavern
to cling for dear life
ended up only bruised and torn.
III: Wonderland
Strange new world,
the landscape is a cacophony
of off beat metaphors that fall apart
when taken to their natural conclusions.
It's hard to know what to make
of those colored glass bottles
labeled drink me.
If this is all a dream
their meaning doesn't matter.
If this is real
one must ask different questions.
IV: Caterpillar
When I figure out the mushroom,
the nuances of big and small,
I will write to you,
set my words to paper.
And will it then be real,
the loving you I mean?
Or was the falling but a dream?
V: Tea Party
Clean cup. Move on...
Move on...
The urge to dislodge the dormouse
and take his place
is nearly overwhelming
and my life is merely a house of cards
at the verge of tumbling around my head
I expect the red queen to yell:
not "off with her head"
but "off with everything."
VI: Waking
If I wake,
I will be left curled on the bank
of a clear babbling brook
with ropes on my wrists.
But, if this is real
I have lost the rabbit
and found the ability
to transform myself
and live my life ad absurdum
Postludes
I: In the Morning
The truth is
This is a dream,
has always been a dream,
stolen madness,
a story borrowed
for the glory of strangeness.
You, what you did to me last night,
none of it is real.
II: Conversation with Alice
Ask Alice how the letting go feels,
the waking.
Perhaps she'll tell you
it is a welcome relief to return home.
Or perhaps she'll wax poetic
about innocence lost,
how the waking brings with it
the inability to see what isn't real.
Then she might ask:
"In the end, when your choices
are follow the talking rabbit into dreams
or cling to the safe river banks of your life
what will you choose?"
The Rabbit Hole is an interesting place to see, and visit, but not a good place to live, imho. I've been there myself, and it is difficult to accept that which is real, that which is not, and understand that both may exist at that the same time.
ReplyDeleteto live out our fantasies is a wonderfully dangerous thing for at some point we must acknowledge that reality can be quite dreary in comparison to the technicolor kaleidoscope of our dream-fueled imagination.
Have you ever watched the live version of Alice in Wonderland that was produced by Hallmark? It is the best version, true to the entire story written by Lewis Carroll and full of the most wonderful actors of our time. It is this version that I see in my mind when I read your post.
"Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, join the Dance?"
smile....yes, that is a very good version of the movie.
ReplyDeleteI think that I will......but when.....??