Encapturation

To be captured..heart, soul, body, spirit..there is nothing that compares. 

  

If you only knew....

If you only knew...my feelings of inner peace and contentment, when you exhibit your tender and loving Daddy side, allowing me to curl up on your lap and disappear into you.

If you only knew....that, when you scold me because I have spoken disrespectfully to you, it confirms to me that you will not let me "run" you.  It has taken me a long time to find a man that I could not manipulate; a man I could respect.

If you only knew....how completely erotic it is to me that you enjoy making me cry; that the sound of my screams and tears in response to your belt contacting my flesh, makes you hard.

If you only knew....that I feel an equilibrium when with you; a functional homeostasis that allows me to breathe more deeply than I have in a very long time.

If you only knew.....

Where Need Becomes Desire

So tortuous the longing still

the nights of twisted thoughts to fill

the thirst, impossible to sate

I lie again in pain.....in wait.

I need Him to guide me and take care of me...
to love me
to spank me when I am flying out of control
to sit down and talk to me when I need counsel
to slap me when I forget who I am talking to
to hug me when I need comfort
to use me as He sees fit.

I need these boundaries in order to feel secure in my skin
while safely snuggled in His embrace.

I need to make Him smile...
to love Him
to be submissive to Him
to help and support Him
to try and give Him what He wants
and let Him take what He needs.

Good Tidings I bring....

I am here!  So sorry to have left you for so long but, you know, life and all........

It is the Christmas break.  I have no school for 3 weeks.  I finished my final exams and have done extremely well in all my courses. 

I would like nothing more than to rest for the next few days but I have social commitments that I need to uphold.  I have arranged it so that my downtime will come after Christmas and I plan to not do much of anything, except travel to where the Rainman lives and allow him to Daddy me.   *sigh*   I am very much looking forward to that.  He knows how to love me, he knows how to be strict with me, but, best of all.....he knows how to combine the two.  He is turning out to be a very good "Taken in hand" type of man, which pleases me greatly; as I have been so preoccupied with my studies, I am looking forward to living and breathing sex for a while.....I am pretty sure I can do that!

On another note, living alone is wonderful!  I get a secret little thrill from closing my very own apartment door behind me, when I get home at night...shutting the stressful world out of my life and escaping to my little oasis of calm.  It makes me smile and it makes me happy.  How nice is that?

I wish you Happy Holidays and hope the year ahead is, well.....whatever you want it to be!

Charli

Hearing Silence

As the interphased day and night
Leaves the sky aglow with residual light,
My hungry eyes take in the feast
That tells me most, by saying least.

A silent scene can stir the heart
With more power than mere words impart,
And leave you breathless, standing still-
Held captive by your own free will.

Trisha Taylor

 

On the Power of Hugs

My desire to be embraced is sometimes so powerful that I start to grow panicky.  I now really know how those poor elderly people that I visit in the nursing homes feel.  The need for human contact, human touch, is an intense and biting hunger.  When an older person that has been without physical contact is embraced, he clings to you in a desperate, childlike way. I feel what that is like, I know what that is like.  A few long months ago I craved the sexually forceful touch of a Dominant male; now I simply want to be encompassed/consumed within a safe harbor of masculine strength.  I am, obviously, in a different place at the moment.

It is a hunger, like any other, but, honest to goodness, I often feel as though I am starving to death.

A Rant about Honesty and Open Communication

For 21 years I lived in a bubble and did not have to interact, to any great extent, with the outside world.....this includes working, as I worked from home.  I am now realizing how very difficult it is to navigate through this sea and deal with the human emotions and politics of my fellow humans.

The issue that I have is this.....why can't people just bloody well SAY what is on their mind, instead of just thinking it, and allowing issues (and relationships) to degrade and rot?   I need honesty.  I need open communication.  I am NOT a mind reader.

My Dominant male friend and support of the last many months (The Rainman) is no longer in my life because he is an assumer.  He assumes that I know what the hell is going on inside him without actually "telling" me what is...or talking to me about it. He assumes that I am aware of stuff, simply because he is and, though I've told him I cannot reach inside his mind and suck information out, he doesn't quite understand.  The ironic thing is that he always wanted me to be open and communicative with him.

I simply can't deal with this.

My one and only girlfriend (in my new city) and I, joined a hiking club and met a very personable man. He wanted to go out for a drink with me but, because I did not want to do anything to jeopardize my friendship, I asked my girlfriend if she was interested in this man....if she had said yes, I would not have gone for a drink with him.  Well....she said NO but apparently did not really mean NO and now our relationship has deteriorated.

How can I operate in this world if people are not going to be straight with me? 

Now school has started and the overwhelmsion factor is high and, frankly....overwhelming.  Because many of my classmates have previous knowledge of some of the subjects we are covering, I am finding myself having to work like a blue-assed fly to keep up.  I don't mind working hard, however, and I will rise above this challenge; it would just be easier to concentrate if I was still in my bubble.