I go about my life
in a somewhat normal way
I pay the bills
I feed the cat
I listen to what the neighbors have to say
but
inside I seethe with emptiness
a stranger in this land
who has difficulty comprehending
the banality that's at hand
I drown inside with dark dark thoughts
I need to keep inside;
oh to find some kindred folk...
I'd travel far!
I'd travel wide!
I live with my obsession
as though it were a dream
in this land of "normal" people...who have:
sex on Fridays
missionary style
lights out
hurry up, my TV show is on
passionless bodies
in their ticky tacky houses
all in a row
and I wonder...
why am I here?
in this cold and foreign place
with these people I do not know
or want to know
where is "my" world
and where are its inhabitants?
I need to be surrounded
by people more like me
I need to feel like I belong
before my soul can be set free.
"I drown inside with dark dark thoughts"
ReplyDeletei think this sums it up. hopefully in time some resolution will be achieved and you will be able to fully integrate your dark dark thoughts with your everyday banal life.
i think it is a goal that we all strive to achieve. and we all meet with varying degrees of success.
it is always nice to bring our desires into being, but sometimes those desires that seemed so sweet in our imaginations, once in the world become bitter and unpalatable.
great care and knowledge must be used when one starts on the road to discovery, if not used what could be the eden of ones life can quickly turn into hell.
but the important thing is that you start the journey, and continue on it, discovering who you are and how you find fulfillment.
and you will find those people like you,and you will find that feeling of belonging.
finbar
Thanks for the encouragement finbar. I do appreciate it; although I am a bit confused by this:
ReplyDelete"it is always nice to bring our desires into being, but sometimes those desires that seemed so sweet in our imaginations, once in the world become bitter and unpalatable.
great care and knowledge must be used when one starts on the road to discovery, if not used what could be the eden of ones life can quickly turn into hell."
Could you explain what you meant by that please??
simple, some fantasies should remain just that. sometimes when brought into the world, they are just not as you imagined them, sometimes they are disipointing, sometimes they can trigger unforeseen emotions and not always good emotions.
ReplyDeletesubmissive and Doms at times rush into relationships, or into scenes, especially heavy scenes, with out knowledge or ability, or insight.as a result when the relationship or the scene goes wrong, it is likely to go terribly wrong, and people get hurt, both physically as well as emotionally.
also in the heat of erotica, poor decisions are easily made. ie, traveling cross country to meet your on line dom and live happily ever after, and it crashes and burns in weeks.
ultimately i just think that people need to think through there decisions and be willing to live with the consequences, whether good or bad.
just a plea for common sense, if there is such a thing.
hope that is a little clearer.
finbar
Ah, okay. Yes I understand. I like to think I have enough of a brain-over-cunt ratio of sensibility...but, who knows. Certainly lustful thoughts, especially long suppressed ones, can indeed be powerful. Rushing into things, however, is not palatable to me and I am definitely NOT into any sort of temporary or one-off Domination.
ReplyDeleteI do know what you mean and have spoken to several people who have experienced just such "disappointments".
Thanks finbar.
"where is "my" world
ReplyDeleteand where are its inhabitants?"
This world must be created. It's a hard path but it's also the most rewarding one.