We scar each other's souls
and wound our fragile hearts
throw words like razor blades
to rip it all apart.
We eat each other's thoughts
and spit them in the air
act as though we never loved
or never gave a care.
You say you want me forever
a sentiment I can't keep
for my feelings are just friendly now
and I cross the hall to go to sleep.
Pain and frustrations have brewed
till bitter-black and strong
surely there comes a point
when it's gone on for too long.
Sweeping the passion away
as you throw it in my face
I can't receive what I don't feel;
I can't respond to what's not real.
I'm oh so sorry I can't be
all the things you need from me.
it wasn't until I could accept the fact that my husband and I couldn't love each other the way we NEEDED to be loved, that I could begin to move on, begin to recover from the pain, and begin life anew without him.
ReplyDeleteI hope you find comfort in that knowledge - that you did nothing wrong, that you gave it your best shot, and that it simply is, no more and no less, that he cannot love you the way you need to be loved.
hugs to you,
cutesypah
Mourn him now. Accept the fact that he is somehow dead, along with the hollow relationship that you had. Accepting this truth might be a first step towards healing the wounds accumulated during years of self-denial.
ReplyDeleteBut you already know that. I first thought that this post was just like a tombstone then I realized it was more like a farewell card to this part of your past.
Just like cutesypah, I believe this is a very important step forward. I don't know how ready you are nor how you will get through it, but I *know* that at the end this will give birth to a fantastic being named Charli.
Don't regret your past. It happened, it was neither good or bad, just empty. Mourn it, get over it and start living. You've showed us your potential, the depth of your heart, your attraction for passion, your tolerance of the extreme, the naked reality. Just go get it.
Just a big hug for you. It is sad, but it is also a new beginning and fresh air.... for both of you. Good luck and lots of strenght....
ReplyDelete