felt your strong hand around my wrist
making me feel small and protected,
but I was alone,
no fingers grasping my flesh
no eyes prying me open
to reveal vulnerabilities;
instead I sit,
surrounded by emptiness
that begs to be filled;
silence that plays all too loud,
forcing my eyes to gaze forward
into my future.
It's a sad but gracious note. Thanks for sharing it with us Charli. Good news and dreams are easy to speak of but it takes a special strength to show your weaknesses especially when your state of mind is so bleak. You feel empty and lost but the strong mental structure that allows you to be a willing slave is still there and helps you not to be crushed during these adverse times. Yes, all your inner boxes can feel empty and they are, but the very structure of your hunger is still there and always will be. That's who you really are and you've always known it. You're empty because you never ate while having a limitless hunger.
ReplyDeleteIt's not an ideal combination but at least that's who you really are. This hunger can take many forms and while it somehow sustain you right know, the appropriate relationship will crush all that, the empty boxes, the false hopes, the missed opportunities, reduces it to nothing and then rebuild everything from your hunger, the real you.
I don't know if I have the right words but I am pretty sure you understand what I am talking about and you also are very aware of your desire, your need to be finally be molded into what you've always wanted to be. Submission and pain are just a path helping you erase your scars and your imperfection but they are also the best food for your the darkest part of your personality. You know it and I am pretty sure that even your clit knows it ;)
Please do tell me if I am wrong, I'd love nothing more than to learn more about you.
Wow! How do I reply to this? I think that I "do" understand what you are talking about but your intensity is difficult to match. (and I thought that "I" was intense)
ReplyDeleteHungry? yes, sure. Looking for the right "man" to feed me? yup!
Dark personality? Me? I don't think that I readily admit that, even still. The Rainman has been trying for months to "make" me "know" it, but I resist.
I think you should come here and show me what you mean....*smile*