I got stood up today.
I drove a bloody hour to meet someone who never showed.
This has left me feeling really icky inside; I suppose, in part, because my "state" of being is a rather vulnerable one these days, due to the events that have occurred over the last few months in my life.
First of all, I have always considered myself (until now) to be a good judge of character. My judgment has, up until this point, never failed me in any significant way....BUT, all of a sudden THIS has been shattered. You see I really thought this man was a good one; he wasn't, and so.....how do I trust my judgment again?
Secondly, my level of emotion surprised me, while I was standing there waiting for him...after 20 minutes...and realizing he was not likely to show, I started feeling like a complete idiot, perched on the street like that. I also began feeling really really sorry for myself......like what a sad loser am I, sort of thing.
Interesting........
I really hope that this is not an omen of things to come, in my new "single" life.
The last thing I want is to become one of those embittered women that I keep hearing about (from men).......go figure.
*sigh*
I need a hug.
{{{{ HUG }}}}
ReplyDeleteBeing single and dating is going to involve all those icky things, like being stood up, and misjudging people and their intentions, and their reactions - but you are not to blame for any of those things. But why am I telling you all this, because I know that you know all of this, but I am very sorry that the schmuck made you feel bad.
ReplyDeleteWant me to track him down and beat him up for you?
These definitely aren't good emotions. It's really sad that he would do that to you because from what I've understood you're quite the woman and you have a very high submissive potential. Your blog and your fantastic notes are a proof of that. And what you have done in order to get ready for this particular path is another proof of your dedication.
ReplyDeleteBut what really matters is the dark core inside you. It's presence is very strong and it has never been fully released. It's what makes you really really precious :) And it's all over your blog. Did he read your blog ? If so, it's a pity he couldn't see everything you were, what you are going through right now and who you can become...
I can understand that you are scared and that you are uncertain of your identity and don't know what the path to take. It's so sad because I really think that you have this rare dark diamond inside you.
Anyway, I'm going to hug you even though I think you would have preferred a "beating" from your ideal dominant that would have cleansed all these emotions away.
*Big Hug*
Have a good afternoon dearest Charli :)
I am so sorry Charli. The same thing has happened to me a couple of times and it *is* hard not to let it affect you in a negative way, or not to take it personally.
ReplyDelete*He* is the loser Charli. It is his great loss.
Be strong. Be tough. Don't lose faith.
(((BIG HUG)))
ReplyDeleteAnd guys wonder why women are hard to talk to or approach sometimes? It's usually because they've dealt with guys like the one who stood you up...or lied to them...or cheated on them...or made them feel like dirt. There's a world of difference between dominating a woman, and tearing her down...
ReplyDeleteAnd I'll be next in line for a hug, please, Charli... :)
Thanks for the HUG. I must admit, however, that I have talked to many men who have been stood up as well. As far as the "adultery" goes, I think that, also, works both ways, I know that it does.
ReplyDeleteHaving said all that...I still think he's a schmuck!
*smile*