Sunday, August 12, 2012

A Sense of Entitlement

While discussing the concept of Dominance in a D/s relationship with B, it struck me that the whole feel of Dominance can be encapsulated and summed up in a few words.....A sense of entitlement. The Dominant partner "has" (or needs to have) this sense of entitlement within the relationship to enable the exchange of power.  If this is not present, this "knowing" that the entitlement is His, the depth and breadth of the dynamic will not be authentic.

I have spoken with many people who seem to "play" at the dynamic.  They play the part that is prescribed by what they read a D/s union should look like.  They follow the rules and protocols that others have named as making this kind of partnership a bona fide D/s one.  They go to play parties and gather the toys that are necessary to play these parts.

My submission is a feeling; it comes from my heart; it is not derived from labels or rules.  I don't want B to be a textbook Dominant.  I want Him to treat me and be with me, exactly the way His heart and mind direct Him to be.

These labels of "Dominant" and "Submissive" bother me.  These yearnings inside our souls are primal and only found by searching and acknowledging our inner-most needs.  Many are not able to do this.  People lock their feelings deep inside and never find the courage to admit to themselves who "themselves" truly are. This is sad.

I don't feel submissive because B spanks me but when He spanks me I feel His sense of entitlement over me and, knowing that I have entrusted Him with my life, makes me feel genuinely, blissfully, powerlessly, submissive.