Monday, August 23, 2010

Dating Sites

My observations:

According to their tag lines, most men are looking for one of the following:

their "one"
their last true love
a decent honest woman
a down to earth woman
a sincere woman
a simple woman (good one)
a sensible woman

You have to wonder how many of these tag lines are code for........a woman to fuck.  I don't like to be negative but I am betting there are alot of serial daters on these sites; men and women.

The majority of men have:

dogs, children, motorcycles or cars that they love getting their picture taken beside......especially dogs and children

A good percentage of men are 5' 8" or under

I'd say 80% of profiles contain spelling and/or grammar mishaps

Most profiles are very short, 5 lines or less, so contain very little information about the person


It is necessary to have a strong stomach for this kind of thing; I don't find it easy at all, whether on vanilla or BDSM sites.  Having said that, I suppose it is better than meeting men in bars or at parties but, it becomes rather confusing after a while; the faces, words, and names all blend in together and, while there could be a GREAT man amongst them, it becomes difficult to SEE.

Friday, August 20, 2010

The Perils of Single Life

I got stood up today.

I drove a bloody hour to meet someone who never showed.

This has left me feeling really icky inside; I suppose, in part, because my "state" of being is a rather vulnerable one these days, due to the events that have occurred over the last few months in my life.

First of all, I have always considered myself (until now) to be a good judge of character.  My judgment has, up until this point, never failed me in any significant way....BUT, all of a sudden THIS has been shattered.  You see I really thought this man was a good one; he wasn't, and do I trust my judgment again?

Secondly, my level of emotion surprised me, while I was standing there waiting for him...after 20 minutes...and realizing he was not likely to show, I started feeling like a complete idiot, perched on the street like that.  I also began feeling really really sorry for what a sad loser am I, sort of thing.


I really hope that this is not an omen of things to come, in my new "single" life.

The last thing I want is to become one of those embittered women that I keep hearing about (from men).......go figure.


I need a hug.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Away with the Fairies

I have been experiencing that old familiar sensation again. The one that makes me feel like I am a child trying to persuade all the adults that I am one of them.

I feel like a kid masquerading as an adult; pretending that I actually know what I am doing and where I am going in the world.

I wonder if anyone is actually convinced.

Friday, August 13, 2010

I Thought of You Today

I thought of you today;
felt your strong hand around my wrist
making me feel small and protected,
but I was alone,
no fingers grasping my flesh
no eyes prying me open
to reveal vulnerabilities;
instead I sit,
surrounded by emptiness
that begs to be filled;
silence that plays all too loud,
forcing my eyes to gaze forward
into my future.

Monday, August 9, 2010

On the importance of clear communication and accurate representation

I have been engaged in a conversation with a man on Fetlife. I had pointed out to him that there were several grammatical and spelling errors in his profile. I did this not to be nasty but because if "I" had mistakes in something I had composed, I would like someone to tell me. He took the news very graciously and corrected the errors but also mentioned that he thought that part of my profile was slightly condescending as I make reference to the fact that the ability to write clearly and without a zillion errors, is important to me.

The thing of it is this.......The words we put on these pages (dating sites) are the first and only glance of the person with whom we may wish to communicate; they are, in effect, an advertisement, "the" advertisement. All of these sites have spell check capabilities built in and there is such a thing as proof reading something after you write it to check it for mistakes. If people care about how they present themselves, they will make an effort to ensure that the words they convey are accurate is not difficult to do.

There has to be a starting point to a relationship. There has to be something to build on. You have to at least have some sort of inkling that this person is, or will be, worthy of your trust and respect. It may not have anything to do with intelligence however I question whether not being able to use the spell check is an indication of something scarier to come.

That is how I feel.

I don't consider myself perfect, far from it; I have many many faults.