Monday, August 9, 2010
On the importance of clear communication and accurate representation
I have been engaged in a conversation with a man on Fetlife. I had pointed out to him that there were several grammatical and spelling errors in his profile. I did this not to be nasty but because if "I" had mistakes in something I had composed, I would like someone to tell me. He took the news very graciously and corrected the errors but also mentioned that he thought that part of my profile was slightly condescending as I make reference to the fact that the ability to write clearly and without a zillion errors, is important to me.
The thing of it is this.......The words we put on these pages (dating sites) are the first and only glance of the person with whom we may wish to communicate; they are, in effect, an advertisement, "the" advertisement. All of these sites have spell check capabilities built in and there is such a thing as proof reading something after you write it to check it for mistakes. If people care about how they present themselves, they will make an effort to ensure that the words they convey are accurate ones....it is not difficult to do.
There has to be a starting point to a relationship. There has to be something to build on. You have to at least have some sort of inkling that this person is, or will be, worthy of your trust and respect. It may not have anything to do with intelligence however I question whether not being able to use the spell check is an indication of something scarier to come.
That is how I feel.
I don't consider myself perfect, far from it; I have many many faults.