Monday, August 9, 2010

On the importance of clear communication and accurate representation

I have been engaged in a conversation with a man on Fetlife. I had pointed out to him that there were several grammatical and spelling errors in his profile. I did this not to be nasty but because if "I" had mistakes in something I had composed, I would like someone to tell me. He took the news very graciously and corrected the errors but also mentioned that he thought that part of my profile was slightly condescending as I make reference to the fact that the ability to write clearly and without a zillion errors, is important to me.

The thing of it is this.......The words we put on these pages (dating sites) are the first and only glance of the person with whom we may wish to communicate; they are, in effect, an advertisement, "the" advertisement. All of these sites have spell check capabilities built in and there is such a thing as proof reading something after you write it to check it for mistakes. If people care about how they present themselves, they will make an effort to ensure that the words they convey are accurate is not difficult to do.

There has to be a starting point to a relationship. There has to be something to build on. You have to at least have some sort of inkling that this person is, or will be, worthy of your trust and respect. It may not have anything to do with intelligence however I question whether not being able to use the spell check is an indication of something scarier to come.

That is how I feel.

I don't consider myself perfect, far from it; I have many many faults.


  1. I completely agree with you. Not using spell check is just lazy. Having poor grammar may be a sign of an inferior education or also be a sign of laziness. I probably am a snob in some ways. Smart is sexy to me, intelligent men turn me on. When people use poor grammar or convey certain ideas that I feel are close minded, I cringe a little inside. I definitely would not want to have a relationship with them, no matter how nice and wonderful they may be. Having a college degree is not so important to me, learning proper use of one's native language is.

  2. @Alice...Hi Alice, it is nice to see you! Thanks for your comment.

    @Hedone...15 minutes H.! Good grief girl! You really need to learn to either, type "right" the first time, or read faster.

    I don't find it a chore to use the full version of the English language, even when IMing; instead of emoticons or LOLs or ROFLs, I find *smiles* or *laughing* usually does the trick.

    The bottom line is that we all have to use/do/be/accept what we are comfortable with.

    I guess I am destined to remain my anal self.

    Trials and tribulations.

  3. *laughing a lot*

    I know :( I get distracted.

    Oooh! something shiny.

  4. Yoo Hoo!!!!!

    Dear woman, I'm always happy to read your well-constructed, proofed writing!

    Life continues apace here in NJ. My store is under construction, this month brings an end to commuting and I'm looking forward to new beginnings, as are you.

    HUGE HUGS.......LLL

  5. Ah...LLL, it is so nice to "see" you. I am very excited for your new venture and we will have to connect so you can tell me all about it!

  6. Hello! -- Lovely to find your blog.....but I think it's a disservice to others that you helped him fix his errors

    false advertising

    someone else will think he's literate!