Thursday, July 2, 2009

A note to men who post pics on dating sites...

I've been thinking about photographs. Specifically, photographs that people post on sites wherein they are trying to meet potential mates/sex partners. Pictures can be very misleading as they are but a moment in time and, depending on what was happening in that particular moment, they can be horrendously misrepresentative, as in, not flattering and really not looking much at all like the real-life version....OR, they can be overly flattering, having caught the model in a rare moment of colossal (but rare indeed), beauty.

Now, all this is well and good but the fact remains that if the intention is to actually "attract" prospective mates, problems can arise. You see, it is sometimes difficult for the "posters" of these pics to be objective. Often, if the poster is a male, he will not be critical enough and post pics that do not show him in....let us say... his most perfect light. In these instances it is imperative that he employ the services of a female friend that he trusts to "vet" the photos before he posts them because, let's face it, people will absolutely judge you on these photographs, and this first glance of a person can make or break an initial contact. AND.....see, here's the thing, we women can be very very superficial and picky when it comes to looks. If you don't look good in a photo that you post on a dating site, we ain't gonna contact you......sorry but it's not going to happen. Is this unfair? Yes. Are all women like this? No. Are most of them? Yes.

Now women....are use to scrutinizing themselves to death, so the chance that they will post an unbecoming photo is not as great. Ofcourse the superficiality of women probably pales in the light of male propensity to judge and criticize by looks but, like I said, women will be more careful when posting images of themselves.

My meanderings and wanderings through BDSM "dating" sites have prompted me to write this. Please men....I want you to meet someone, but if you post yucky pictures of yourselves, your chances are greatly reduced.

I am trying to help.

Okay, now there is another side to the story above. I am thinking now of a profile I saw not too long ago.....a Dominant male was in search of a submissive female....and what was he wearing in his cover photo?.....a sweat shirt, baggy jogging pants and slippers! Now come on people, I ask you!! See? this instance, it was a good thing that this guy was thusly attired (and truly revealed himself) as it will save women the trouble and bother of contacting this idiot!!

Honest, I am trying to help.

Oh wait! I just thought of something else that really irks me! Men who post cock pictures!!! Good grief, talk about a turn off. If there is one sure-fire way of getting me to bolt in the other direction, it's a guy who thinks it's ok to post naked pictures of himself and his cock in his profile.....YUCK!!!!

Alright, I'm finished now.



  1. Actually, I'm realizing that you're right and that I was wrong :-)

    Finding potential D/s partners is easier in reality but finding a partner that fit isn't easy. In fact it's quite difficult. And given the amount of effort & time that one has to put into such a relationship, you'll quickly learn that it's best to wait until you find the right person. Compromises are fast too costly in this domain.

    My previous message was mostly based on an experience on collarme where women often receive more than 1,000 messages per day.

  2. Yes, yes, YES, to the annoyance of cock shots, Charli! I wish someone could adequately explain to me why men feel this is what a woman really wants to see, and what will really make a wonderful first impression with her. I have reached the point that I am very specific when requesting a picture that it be of his face and NOT his cock..LOL!!

  3. I found this a very funny post. And yes cock shots are a BIG BIG turn off. And personally i don't like men with slippers, LOL.