Sunday, September 12, 2010
A Rant about Honesty and Open Communication
For 21 years I lived in a bubble and did not have to interact, to any great extent, with the outside world.....this includes working, as I worked from home. I am now realizing how very difficult it is to navigate through this sea and deal with the human emotions and politics of my fellow humans.
The issue that I have is this.....why can't people just bloody well SAY what is on their mind, instead of just thinking it, and allowing issues (and relationships) to degrade and rot? I need honesty. I need open communication. I am NOT a mind reader.
My Dominant male friend and support of the last many months (The Rainman) is no longer in my life because he is an assumer. He assumes that I know what the hell is going on inside him without actually "telling" me what is...or talking to me about it. He assumes that I am aware of stuff, simply because he is and, though I've told him I cannot reach inside his mind and suck information out, he doesn't quite understand. The ironic thing is that he always wanted me to be open and communicative with him.
I simply can't deal with this.
My one and only girlfriend (in my new city) and I, joined a hiking club and met a very personable man. He wanted to go out for a drink with me but, because I did not want to do anything to jeopardize my friendship, I asked my girlfriend if she was interested in this man....if she had said yes, I would not have gone for a drink with him. Well....she said NO but apparently did not really mean NO and now our relationship has deteriorated.
How can I operate in this world if people are not going to be straight with me?
Now school has started and the overwhelmsion factor is high and, frankly....overwhelming. Because many of my classmates have previous knowledge of some of the subjects we are covering, I am finding myself having to work like a blue-assed fly to keep up. I don't mind working hard, however, and I will rise above this challenge; it would just be easier to concentrate if I was still in my bubble.