In absentia.....

I apologize for my absence as of late.

I am trapped in the fog of life, at the moment; trying to find my way....like so many of you, like so many of us.

The path is slowly clearing and I can now see one foot, as it is placed before the other....which is a good thing....

So I expect to be back, and literarily inspired, very shortly.

*smile*

In the meantime, I need you to smile and I need you to laugh. I need you to understand that life is short and there is no point in allowing it to swallow you up whole, until you are a sour lemon of a being, stinging people's eyes whenever you squirt.

Perfection

To discover the sea again, was a revelation...how magnificently the wind and water had sculpted the sandgrains into works of art; accompanied by the soothing orchestra of wind and waves and the blinding beauty of millions of microscopic diamonds glistening at my feet...no matter how hard I tried to find one...

there could never be a more perfect moment than this.

Addiction

I often wonder what it is

this magic that we do
The rush of life
perverted lust
excitement through and through...
fantasies oft awkwardly revealed
are somehow more powerful
when shared with you
for you will not judge me
on my edgy thoughts
nor things I say or do...
cause YOU my dear
have sharp edges too
which pulsate divinely
whenever they're in view.


Photograph: Max Sauco

On learning how to walk

The man made me cry with his kindness. His strong arms enveloped me while his words of protection and caring soothed me. All my stored tears escaped as I melted into his embrace like a wounded little girl...and I was all the more grateful, for I knew that he would not take advantage of my vulnerability; that his arms would only hold me; that his hands would only stroke my hair, and I would not be asked to give anything I was not comfortable in giving. "No strings attached", he said, and I felt, in that moment, that I could never pull myself away; that I needed to stay inside the safety net he was offering. But then....I awoke, and realized that the real world was where I needed to be; that I would have to learn to accept the embrace of uncertainty and fear, at least for a little while...at least until I grew up and could stand on my own 2 feet, without searching for arms to steady me.

For all we've done and all we've been...

For all that we have done and seen
For all that we have lived and been
For all the history we have made
For all the good and bad things played
For all the time that’s past since then
I know I’d do it all again...

And so I wish from deep within
That you remember where we’ve been
And always with a loving eye
I’ll look to you,
until I die.

My wish for you...

For those of you with love that’s true

of deep devotion thru and thru
where passion like a river flows
along the bed of ecstasy’s throws
and water runs from many tears
induced by His calming
long years of fears
of never finding one who knows
who truly understands the need
where finally you are free to see
each as you were meant to be.

For those who understand these words
my heart is full, my soul is glad
I wish for you long days of peace
and hope your bond may never cease.

What to do when you want more than kinky sex OR Weed them vanilla beans carefully

Fucking Idiots! I'm sorry but the horditudes of men on Collarme that have nics with sir, lord or master in them is unbelievable.....and then!!! and then they write in their profiles they are looking for subs to serve them, cater to their needs, rub their fucking shoulders and oh oh!...the subs must be in good physical shape and have great bodies to serve them by. Good grief! I have really had it! You know, tis a real shame as I have met some rather nice individuals on that site over the last couple of years but it has really gone downhill....wayyyyyy down hill! It seems to attract the sex grovelers mostly now and not as many "real" people that are actually looking for an honest relationship. Please excuse the profanity, but GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

What a shame! I guess it is onto vanilla sites for me. I shall have to pick my vanilla beans very carefully to find ones that have dominant bits cause.......

I am not perfect
nor unique
I tend to wander when I speak
I'm just your average female joe
trying to run my life-like show
and yes perhaps I feel the need
to be submissive; pay him heed
but on vanilla sites I go
for CM men, I don't wanna know
so how to pick the D/s among
the many men just there for fun
not only D, but long term too
cause casual for me, won't do
so with my list of subbie needs
I weed and stream vanilla seeds
in hopes a fertile one will show
and we can make the D/s grow.

*sigh* Trials and tribulations.