Sunday, May 24, 2009
Round peg in a square hole (or something equally as painful)
I don't know what to write, I don't know what to say......I feel so very far away; as if the world was not my home, I roam....and I roam.......completely and utterly, all alone. The ones that know me feel it too; all who touch me come out scarred then wonder why I scratch so hard. Making people feel awkward is not what I wish to do, but....I've lost the ability to perform, along with the knowledge of which gesticulations, articulations, prevarications.....I should use, to put you at your ease. I understand that after 47 years I should know how to act; to wander through the world as others do.....but I do not seem to be able to pull it off. I drift and I drift....please do not be alarmed if my presence causes you distress, it is not you, it is me.
I simply do not know how to be.