My many years of living within a relationship based entirely on NON-sexuality has had the effect of making me not know how to respond to someone who finds me sexually appealing. More specifically, finds me desirable as a sexual being. As in, what are you saying exactly when you say that I am cute, or have nice breasts, or that I am very yummy? Are you objectifying me? Are you saying that that is ALL you like about me?Now, on the surface you would think that I would be pleased to finally have someone "enjoy" me as a sexual person. But the reality is that, I am use to being loved for my humor, my personality, my character, etc., and NOT my body or my looks........so, for goodness sake, I have no idea how to handle someone who thinks of me as a "complete" woman!
The world is a very frightening place, Daddy.
Think back . . . remember.
ReplyDeleteIt is frightening to think you might find someone who cares about all parts of you. Someone you don't or can't hide from. Someone who wants to know everything about you and desires all of it. But it's also just so damn great to be yourself. And you are definitely a sexy woman as well as all the rest - own it :)
ReplyDeleteGreetings dear woman....I haven't visited with you in a while and I was smiling while reading this post.
ReplyDeleteThat someone finds you cute, yummy and enjoys your body parts is GRAND! Presuming you welcome these expressions from this particular "someone"...go with it! Stop questioning/evaluating/judging. It is all part of the process of finding yourself again. You can have the confidence to be the most sexual, sensual woman in the room without diminishing any other part of Charli.
xoxoxo, LLL
Yes David, I know, but...my world is a different place now, and my fears/needs/desires, different as well...but, I remember, very clearly.
ReplyDeletesmile...thanks Aurore, I love this...."Someone you don't or can't hide from. Someone who wants to know everything about you and desires all of it." That is a very appealing idea isn't it......yes indeed!
LLL! My goodness, hello hello *HUG*....I know, I was thinking the other day that I have to learn to just "be" and stop THINKING so damn much. Deepak Chopra is trying to help me but my walls are just too bloody thick! It is good to see you!
We understand that your fears/needs/desires may be changing, but it does not diminish your desirability as a "complete" woman, mind, body and soul! But you are right, the world can be a very frightening (and wonderful) place.
ReplyDeleteI want to say When my marriage was in bad shape and the person I was with rejected me as a sexual being, I substituted other parts of my personality for my sexuality. It seemed that everyone around me was themselves yet I was reduced to a part of "me". I wanted to know if I was sexually appealing. It was not and is not about security-it is about esteem. Self esteem.
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