The vanillas (vanillinians?) are taking over the Earth. The world seems to be full of them, for goodness sake!
Meeting people is tricky, meeting kinky people is far more difficult; it has been many years since I have wanted to venture forth and make connections, I suppose because I had my husband and our friends and neighbors, etc., and I never really felt the need to meet "new" people.
But now....alone in a new city, it is slightly different. So how, exactly, do I approach this? I want platonic friends at the moment, not sex friends, so what?......munches? Fetlife? And then there is the fact that, in my old life, when I befriended a female I could be relatively sure all she wanted to be was my "friend", but these days it seems that it is practically impossible to find a woman involved in BDSM who is NOT, how do you say.....heteroflexible? pansexual? Yes, yes, I realize just because someone enjoys both sexes does not mean they are incapable of platonic friendships......all I am saying is that it throws another dimension into the mix, a mix I do not have beaucoup de experience with.....c'est tout.
Thus far I have limited my roamings to vanilla females, as they are easier to hunt down; indeed I have found a couple of very nice women to talk and walk with BUT.........it seems there are so many things I CANNOT talk to them about that it leaves me wanting.
The search continues.....
It’s a bit like being gay in the 60’s or 70’s, isn’t it, being a kinkster that is? Even though the Internet has allowed kink to hit the mainstream (I actually saw a model in a major department store ad wearing a collar and shackles), the actually practice of it seems rare.
ReplyDeleteBut…it’s not.
Once you start to notice the signals, you will find those kindred spirits and begin a dialogue. Once you begin to throw out certain signals in the vanilla world, suddenly some vanillaite cocks an eyebrow, and asks…
“Um…are you submissive?”
“Um…yeah.”
“ME TOO!”
You think it’s hard to find sub friends? Try finding Dom friends if you’re a non-tatooed, no leather, non-sadistic, intelligent, in-shape, articulate, and fairly low-key hilarious guy.
I’d love to have a beer with one of those guys…
Good luck,
-B
*smile*
ReplyDelete..and here I was feeling sorry for myself!
If I happen to see any non-tatooed, no leather, non-sadistic, intelligent, in-shape, articulate, and fairly low-key hilarious "other" D. guys, I will send them your way.
I use to think as you do, that if I look HARD enough, the sorta closet kinksters would come out of the woodwork and reveal themselves; but so far, there are none in sight.
I will keep looking.
We all need someone to relate to.