Saturday, July 17, 2010

On wine gums and feeling Lost

When will my new home start feeling like the right place?

When will my past life start feeling like the wrong place; start feeling like the past?

Were the choices I made, made for the right reasons?

When I start feeling right, will I stop feeling lost?

Am I living the life I am suppose to be living?

Does Maynards put a drug in Wine Gums to make them so addictive?

Anyway, I am back here in the land of the people that write drivel in blogs so I suppose I should keep up appearances....

With regard to this whole BDSM thing, I am completely unaware of where I stand as it has taken on a much less important flavor in my new life. I believe this is because I have many other things to think/worry about at the moment and don't feel inclined to spend time focusing on my lust filled loins....although, I do spend some time. The Rain Man is still putting up with me and is very much a part of my life but, alas, I do frustrate him so. One minute I am begging for a D/s relationship and the next I am giving him grief and being anything BUT submissive to him.....the man is a Saint, to be quite honest. I think he regards me as a challenge and a challenge is definitely what I give him, though not on purpose (most of the time).

I attended another play party, this time a public one, and I enjoyed it much more than the private one as I was able to sink into the background and "lurk" and "leer", which was a heck of alot of fun. My goodness the odd spectacles, and people, I encountered! Yes, good fun it was! I did not "play", although the Rain Man wanted to; but the only place available was right under the crowd's nose and I wanted to hide in the back so we wouldn't be seen. I am definitely NOT that brave, nor that exhibitionistic, to be way out in the open making a spectacle of myself! *shudder*

So, I await the beginning of my course, which starts in September, and wander around my new city wondering what, exactly, I am suppose to "be" and "do".

When I have all the answers, I will let you know.


  1. Yeah!! You are writing again....yeahhhhhhhh

    It is nice to see you Charli!

  2. I am delighted you are back, I've missed your writing. Thank you for returning. We must correspond more,

    Your friend on the journey,


  3. @Hedone...Hey H.! Nice to see you. Thanks for the excitement...I think school will be a "challenge";if it turns out to be fun as well...bonus!

    @Andrea...*smile* Thanks Andrea.

    @CD...I would enjoy that CD; actually I looked for an email address on your site but couldn't find one?