Monday, March 23, 2009
What's love got to do with it?
Without love, without understanding, without trust, the connection is pointless; it becomes a physical act of (often) aggression.....an acting out of pent up frustration, or, in the case of public play, an exhibitionistic frenzy of "watch me", "see me", "do me". It does not matter who does me, or who sees me.......I just need my fix.
This is, obviously, an enjoyable phenomenon for some people.
For me, not so much.
My female sub friend T. was describing this to me the other day, going to a public party and watching this show of seemingly disconnected people employed in sexual acts; I could tell by the tone of her voice that she was really disturbed by it and I have been trying to understand why, exactly, it provoked such intense feelings for her.
I do know that when "I" have communicated with persons that view this world as "just-a-little-kink", or take it as only "fun" and something NOT done outside the bedroom, I do have a hard time relating to them, as I view it as a good deal more. I am certainly not saying that life, or D/s, should not be fun, I am simply saying that, to me, it goes much deeper than just fun and that, for it to have any meaning at all, there needs to be a deeper connection.
And I believe my friend, like many people, holds almost a spiritual reverence for the D/s dynamic. The potentially life-altering, mind-bending intensity of a good D/s connection with a like-minded partner. It is not a game, it is not for show....it is, well....almost a religion of sorts, I suppose you could say. And perhaps what goes on at play parties is almost a mockery of this institution, for some people.
Could that be it?