Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The Elation of Discovering my Arcane Darkness

I am only me; I am sexually submissive. Probably have always been submissive but guilt and shame are wonderful instruments of concealment; at 46, now somewhat comfortable in my skin, it is time to come out of the closet.

Being submissive is not a choice for me, it is an orientation, an integral part of who I am. For so many years I have hungered, not knowing (or admitting) what I was hungry for. Now, I am out. I know. I realize. I want. I desire. I very intensely, as though my mind and body are trying to make up for too many years of self denial.

Good men have guided me, introduced me to my arcane darkness, aroused new ways of thinking, new concepts; have opened my eyes to a whole new world...a world that, up until 6 months ago, I knew nothing about. I feel grateful to these men as though a child on Christmas day, for giving me one present after another to open with anticipation and then squeal with the wonder and excitement on discovering the contents of the gift.

I am a lucky girl!

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