Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Serenity Now!

So, my Grandmother is dead. She passed peacefully on morphine, which I am very thankful for. My Father, weirdly, had her cremated without telling anyone so there has yet to be closure for family members. I have lived long enough to realize that everyone's family is dysfunctional on some level, but, honest to God, mine often wins when I do comparisons.

I know that many that pass by my page are patiently waiting for some snippet of erotica...something tantalizing and provocative...something CharliB-ish. Sorry, I really am so depleted right now that putting my shirt on frontways is a challenge.

Did I mention that my husband has asked me to leave the house by the beginning of next week?


  1. hugs to you. I understand your struggles, as I went through the same thing when I lost my dad a few years back.

    as for being out of the house, doesn't he know that you've got your hands full right now? he's just showing his true colors, babe.

    sending positive, healing energy your way,

  2. My heart goes out to you ..I am so sorry.

    I'm relieved that you were able to get her some pain medication after all.
    It is a horrid system that makes these things happen.
    As for your husband...the less said~~

  3. charli, my heart goes out to you. im so sorry about your grandmother, but at least she was medicated and did not experience unnecessary suffering at the end.

    as for dysfunctional families, you would have to get in line to try to beat the one i came from!!!

    carli don't worry about posting, that is the least of your worries at this time, from the sounds of it, it seems you have more that your share of stress and grief.

    my thoughts are with you, take care.!!


  4. My condolensces Charli, to you and to your family. I am happy for you that she passed peacefully and without pain.
    Hopefully, and notwithstanding your father's decision to cremate her remains, your family can hold a memorial service. I don't know if it will bring the closure you speak of since, in my experience, there is never closure regarding a loved one's death. One simply grows more used to their absense.

    If I may suggest something that helped me when my dad passed: sit down and write a eulogy. The writing did more for me than the speaking. It helped to focus my thoughts on the positive, celebrating his life and the wonderful and essential contributions he made to mine.

    This is a time of endings.....and beginnings. Hugs


  5. Alas, that Spring should vanish with the Rose!
    That Youth's sweet-scented Manuscript should close!
    The Nightingale that in the Branches sang,
    Ah, whence, and whither flown again, who knows!


  6. I'm grateful to know that the hospital conceded, allowing your grandmother to pass peacefully. I'm sure that was a weight lifted.

    I wish that maybe I could impart some wisdom on how to get through dealing with the loss your grandmother. I have yet to figure out how to deal with losing mine and that was over a year ago. Living without my grandmother is one of the hardest things I'm still struggling with. She was my best friend and the only part of my dysfunctional family that I had any contact with. I suppose we never can get over losing someone close to us. Perhaps, its more about remembering to live our lives with the wisdom they gave us.

    My heart aches for you, Charli. I suppose the light in all of this is that you will be away from your husband a little sooner and just a step closer to getting to be yourself fully.

    Keep being Brave Charli.


  7. Well cp...this (my wanting to separate) has not been, in any way, easy for my husband either. He wants/needs closure so...

    Thank you Nancy, I appreciate your warm wishes.

    Finbar, sorry to hear that you you, too, come from a Martian family. Thank you.

    LLL...I guess "closure" was the wrong word but I still feel a memorial of some kind would allow us all to grieve together and, in some way, make peace with her passing. The writing idea is a good one. I am glad for your presence and thoughts.

    The worldly hope men set their Hearts upon
    Turns Ashes, or it prospers; and anon
    Like Snow upon the Desert's dusty face,
    Lighting a little hour or two -- is gone.

    Ava, it sounds as though your relationship with your Grama was very similar to mine. In many ways, I was closer to her than anyone else in my strange family. Thank you for sharing with me.

    Thanks so much to all of you. I have met so many wonderful souls through this blog and I am so very grateful for this experience of kinship.

  8. My condolences to you Charli - I am glad that she was able to pass peacefully.

    You're in my thoughts.

  9. i'm sorry for lost,but i'm glad she was able to go peacefully. i hope this brings closure to you all.

    i hope thing's go a lot better for you soon. we all go through a tough time , but it's never easy you. good luck too you

  10. Thanks very much, Aurore and Sqweakygurl.

  11. My condolences on the loss of your grandmother, Charli. I recently lost both of my grandparents just 5 weeks apart from each other. I, like many others here, know the pain you are experiencing at the moment.

    I hope that perhaps you have something tangible of your grandmother's to keep. For some reason that has been a comfort to me, to have things in my home that belonged to my grandparents. But then we all find different ways to soothe our grief.

    Good thoughts and prayers go with you.

  12. Geez I'm away for a few months and so much happens! I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother but at least she isn't in pain anymore, I'm glad the hospital finally consented to the morphine.

    As for the marriage, its hard,its ugly and you wobble back and forth trying to figure out if you are doing the right thing and wonder why you are putting yourself through this. Sometime down the road you start to get perspective and realize that a weight has been lifted off you and you can breathe again. It doesn't happen overnight but it does happen. You are a strong gifted and amazing woman you will not only survive you will thrive.

  13. Thank you, Mimi...I will be living with my Grandmother's furniture so will be constantly surrounded by her lovely presence.

    Thank you so much, ms, for your very kind words and praise. I am sooooo looking forward to that weight being lifted, you have no idea....well, I guess you actually do....*smile*