Tuesday, October 20, 2009

In the Dark of the Night

Darkness, so much darkness
when slumber should win
yet hours tick painfully by
while thoughts spill to overflowing
between the spaces of what once was
and what is still to be;
the self-absorbed stream
of confused, relentless introspection
burrows its way deep and deeper
into my consciousness
until all I am
is yet to come
and all I was
is gone.


  1. Charli, I didn't check your blog because I thought you were gone for 4 weeks and that you needed calm. How wrong was I !

    Darkness is a versatile state. It's made of emptiness but it's also the absence of judgment, of defined frontier. It can be void as it can be unlimited potential. Without direction, it can be a deadly trap. Without fear, it can be a source of renewal.

    Charli, dear Charli, I've seen you rising to the top and today I see you lost. I've been reading you for at least 2 years and your words slowly crafted a bridge between your world and my head. Your lust and your hunger seduced me and today your isolation if confusing me. And I might be a little too empathic because I have some tears in my eyes.

    You are distressed, lost and there is a possibility that you will break under the weight of such negative feelings. I know who you were, who you can be, I know your mind is extremely fertile and that it can create limitless energy and I am confident that this is what will happen. But I am pained to see you like that.

    Once again, I'll offer you a virtual hug and my friendship.

  2. Gabriel, I am alright. The words I wrote were not penned with ferocious negativity....a little, yes, but nowhere near what you read into them. The last words, in fact, I see as being rather positive in that I am not dwelling on the past but forging forward into a new life.

    I'm sorry, these are my "thoughts" and not intended to be any sort of message. I certainly understand if people do not comprehend them, as I often have difficulty "grasping" what is in my head, at any given time.

    Thank you for your concern.

  3. Charli,

    change is hard. but the best is yet to come, and will be better than you ever imagined. keep saying the Serenity Prayer. It gets me through the darkest days.