Wednesday, October 28, 2009

...on the joy of surrendering my breath

He leaned over toward where I was sitting on the sofa, shoved one hand down on my shoulder to pin me, and clamped his mouth over mine. I didn't know what he was doing but soon realized that I couldn't breathe, as he sucked the air out of my lungs. I started squirming; his pressure over my mouth increased until I thought I would pass out; then he stopped. I slumped where I sat, panting shallowly; trying to catch my breath and figure out what, exactly, he had just done to me. Two seconds later I felt his hands around my throat, squeezing......his grip was too tight! I started flailing wildly on the sofa as he kept an even pressure on my neck and suddenly everything started to go white and I could feel myself slipping away, which was when he stopped. Trembling and clutching at my throat, I looked up to see him smiling down on me. Tears were running down my face but I wasn't sure what I was feeling, other than completely overwhelmed and at his mercy; although confused and bewildered, it seemed I was quite enjoying being overwhelmed and overpowered thusly. Before I knew what was happening he had again clamped his mouth over mine in order to take whatever breath I had left to give him. By the time he stopped I was crying and shaking, totally unnerved; completely capitulated.

When he reached for my hand to pull me off the sofa I heard his voice somewhere in the air above me...."come on little girl, I have something else in mind for you"; as I allowed myself to be pulled along the hallway, weak from lack of oxygen and the sensation of being conquered, I could feel a huge idiotic smile tugging at the corners of my mouth.......

Is there anything more delicious than being

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