I am not interested in men who only want me for sexI can't do just sex
I need more for the experience to hold any pleasure for me
He has to be a good friend, at least a good friend; preferably someone who has the potential to be a full-time partner.
Does this make me less slutty? Probably.
I definitely don't think I fit the bill of your average run-of-the-mill, free-wheeling slut.
I am not bisexual, or "heteroflexible", or whatever the hell it is called this hour, and, reading through Fetlife profiles, it seems I am one of the few straight women left on earth.
Does this make me less slutty? Probably.
I am not an exhibitionist and have no desire to play in public.
Does this make me less slutty? Most likely.
Boring huh?
I want to share my life with a Dominant partner, someone with whom I can freely and openly express my submissiveness. Someone I trust enough to give away my consent to; otherwise though, I suspect my life will be rather normal.
Do I have a raunchy, deviant, sick mind? Yup! But my mind is much more raunchy and deviant than "I" am. It's okay, I am growing comfortable with my new role of (what I am) and not worrying so much about (what I'm not).
What I am:
A kinky, filthy-minded, submissive non-slut.
Amen.
I could have written this myself. I know that more than one dom who has approached me, has rejected me because I'm not interested in being one of many or turned out like a whore for his pleasure. Absolutely nothing wrong with what you want and when you find the right dom it will not matter.
ReplyDeleteViewing porn (or perusing Fetlife) makes me feel somewhat inadequate because I am really just a regular girl who happens to be submissive. I could never hope to keep up with the escapades it seems many get up to, I just don't have it in me.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean.
You will find, Charli, in your travels, dominant men whose BDSM philosophy is aligned with yours and whose kink interests are a private affair practiced with their primary partners. As you have correctly ascertained, the main ingredient of this type of relationship is experienced within the participant's heads. You are not alone in your desires, Charli. You will find what you seek.
ReplyDeleteI love these last posts. Reality supercedes fantasy, and in the process Charli learns Charli.
ReplyDeleteGo girl!
Charli, awesome post. You hit the nail on the head. I want to be kinkily free but with one Dom and one alone. CD
ReplyDeleteWhen you sit as one with your Master
ReplyDeletethe man that you can trust
the man that allows you total freedom of self
you will be surprised at the ease with which you begin to climb the stairs in front of you
Your Master will lead you to the stairs and gently push you up them until you are able to float effortlessly upon the steps you once shunned as being too high
I lie in wait (patiently) for this exciting event
Oh my God, you mean its really ok to be this! Here I was feeling all self concious and chastising myself for not being at all interested in inviting others into my bed, and trying ton convince myself otherwise.
ReplyDeleteIt often appears to me that those in the D/s mindset are also supposed to be into some version of polyamory. I allowed myself to engage in some activities with my husband towards this end last year, to learn that that sort of thing just wasn't in me. I deeply regret it to this day. I wish I had had a better idea of who I was and what I wanted at the time and didn't have to learn such a painful lesson. You however , Charli seem to know exactly what you want, which puts you lightyears ahead of others!!
When my long term relationship ended, at first I would only dabble my toes in the water. Several months passed and I had a few admirers whom I decided to be more serious with. It was only when one of them commented that I was acting like a 'slut'. There was one day when I had three partners. That was when I made the decision to tone dowm my act.
ReplyDeleteI realized that though my partners were no doubt nice people, I had commoditized them-they had become items rather than people. That didn't reflect well on my own self-respect.
I don't think there is anything wrong with having a multiplicity of bdsm partners-sex is a basic human need regardless of how it is expressed afterall. What was problematic, at least for me, was when that basic need became all encompassing and served to be the primary focus. That was what nearly happened to me.
It seems odd to say such things in the open society of bdsm-it sounds somewhat prudish.
Anyhow-bottom line is that I love to play-but play is serious business.
Thanks to all of you for sharing with me. It is a relief to know that you feel as I do and that I am not alone in my desires....also that there are those who will actually accept me and my non-slutty ways...*smile*
ReplyDelete*laughing*, mimi you are so funny!
I miss you LLL; hope you are coping with the world in a good way...HUG
Charli,
ReplyDeleteI, too, thought I'd never find anyone, much less the man of my dreams. Mr Right thought the same thing. and, yet, here we are. It took much time, and many wrong turns before I ended up on the same path as Mr Right. And I never thought I'd find someone who was willing to let me be "me" without subjugation. And, reading through the "Taken in Hand" website helped me realize there were many out there like me, and like you, wanting to mix "this thing we do" with a "vanilla" domestic relationship. but, I must tell you - it takes patience, and time. and missteps, and mistakes, and tears, and failures. and, for whatever reason, when you finally give up, and accept that things will not work out the way you wish them to, the unbelievable happens. I wish you the patience until the unbelievable happens.
love and hugs,
cutesypah
Thank you cp...I am so glad that "you" have finally found "peace"......
ReplyDelete