In conversation with a friend today, I was reminded (by him) that I am currently in a most enviable position; that I will (likely) never again reside within this golden environment of opportunity and freedom, without attachment and responsibility; able to live or work anywhere I choose, or to "do" anything I choose. He told me to embrace it and run with it....to really live inside this wonderful space of privilege.I had never thought of my new-found singledom in those terms before. His words empowered me and helped me to view my situation in a different light. I suppose that I have been busy fretting over my future, to the exclusion of actually recognizing my present situation with clarity.
The world is my oyster and I'm 100% free to seek the pearl.
How special is that?
Once we were fairies; children of pleasure, immortal butterflies racing the wind...
ReplyDeleteOur hearts were fearless flames burning passion so pure it blinded us of our nakedness; our awkwardness, our pride...
We played in the moonlight; winking at each other's enchanted minds and electric bodies. We teased the sunshine with our smiles, our kisses and embraces...
_____________________________
You are now a fairy Charli. You have been given a new gift, a new life. Your friend is correct. This is your chance to be free and pure. This is your chance to just *be*
Go forth and scatter your very lovely fairy dust on everything you can. Do it Charli, just do it.
This perspective certainly is a morale booster and I'm glad to know that you have such a friend. That being said, I believe that liberty can reveal itself to be a fantastic trap if you end up being directionless. Without purpose, freedom often means fading into nothingness.
ReplyDeleteUsing your analogy, one could say that your oyster is just humongous and that you could get lost and tired before finding the mythical pearl.
It wouldn't be fair to think that this applies to you : you've started uncovering your real identity, you've taken huge steps towards the life you desire (your divorce) and you are cautious enough to avoid most of the traps.
And quite frankly I don't think that it will be your best environment of opportunity & freedom. That will come when you have developed your dark, when you have built a very strong relationship with the man you chose. Because that's when you will have the knowledge, the tools, the desire, the energy to be in control of your world.
Your current situation is full of fantastic possibilities, but that's definitely not your peak potential.
Thank you Jonathan....that's lovely.
ReplyDeleteI am differentiating, Gabriel between being "free", and being "directionless"...I DO know what you are saying and I agree that I will, one day, function best by having a good deal of direction BUT...this is the time in which I will seek "which" direction, exactly, I wish to walk and, while doing so, intend to savor, listen to, and learn from, the experiences that fall on me.
Charli you are right and I was mainly expressing my concern. But I'm confident in your ability to manage this directional change. And is there a path that seems more appealing than the others to you ?
ReplyDeleteI understand the idea of being free.
ReplyDeleteDuring my last visit to the Dr I cried because all I sould see in my life was loss, loss on every hand. But, like you someone helped me to see this roiling turmoil and change is in fact opportunity. When it is all over I will be free from the chains that have bound, the weights of my existence and released into opportunity.
I simply, we simply must be brave.
Be encouraged.